Oh what pun! — ‘Well-Red Lobster’

I am not sure whether to categorize this as a literary or gourmet dining pun.

“‘A lobster can’t be styled ‘well-red’ until it has been boiled,” The Granville Sentinel, May 30, 1890.

That pun could share the menu with this one.

“Although not talkative at all, the oyster is a very pleasant dinner companion.” — The Morning Star of Glens Falls, April 6, 1887.

If this entre is on the menu, I think I’ll stick to sword fish.

“Sword swallowers ought to try saws awhile. They would be more toothsome.” — The Granville Sentinel, May 23, 1890.

If you prefer fried food

“A Pan-American — A New England cook.” — The Granville Sentinel, Jan. 31, 1890

Following are some more puns and humor collected from northern New York historic newspapers.

Money and finance

“A miser’s first rule is addition. His heirs generally begin with division.” — The Granville Sentinel, May 15, 1890

“Where they all make money — In the mint.” — The Granville Sentinel, May 15, 1890

“About the easiest way to raise the wind is simply to cash a draft.” — The Granville Sentinel, Jan. 24, 1890

Labor

“Even the humblest toiler of the land can resolve to live for a hire purpose.” — The Granville Sentinel, May 30, 1890.

“When is a shirt like a weary man? — When it is done up.” — The Granville Sentinel, Jan 10, 1890

“Every man is the architect of his own future. And it’s lucky for most of us that there is no building inspector around.” — The Granville Sentinel, Sept. 27, 1889

“A man must be pretty sick of work when he throws up his job.” — The Granville Sentinel, Nov. 22, 1889

“The barber generally manages to make a living, even if he is always working at cut rates.” — The Morning Star, April 6, 1887

“The king of spades — The iron shovel.” — The Granville Sentinel, Feb. 14, 1890

“Edwin Booth is said to object to matinee performances on the grounds that night is the proper time for stars to shine.” — The Morning Star, April 9, 1887

“A Yankee dentist has recently failed because another man has a better pull than he.” — The Morning Star, April 9, 1887

Exhaustion

“Invariably run into the ground — Gate posts.” — The Granville Sentinel, May 15, 1890.

“What the sole said to the heels. — ‘Run down and see us.’” — The Granville Sentinel, May 15, 1890

Humility

“Stuck up but not proud — calendars.” — The Granville Sentinel, Feb. 14, 1890

Click here to read my most recent previous “Oh what pun!” post.